Editorial

Hello, and welcome to Christis Issue 9! We apologise for the late appearance of this issue — the cartoons will explain all!?! I have been asked to do this editorial in an Englishy Literaturey style, (because I do that subject) so here goes …

The inquisitive student prowled every media distribution point on campus, searching for food for thought. The sun was blazing in the midday sky, enshrouding the grey campus in a yellow, bright glow. The lake shimmered and was still.

Ducks quacked in a descriptive and atmospheric fashion. The summer term had just begun and the student was getting hot! And, by a porter’s lodge she found some hot stuff! Yes, resplendent beside the beautiful college pigeon-holes was a pile of the magazine that is… CHRISTIS. The student stood, awe-struck…yes, it was the ninth issue! She rushed frantically into the multitude of people — students, porters, administrative staff, catering staff, cleaners, ducks; all fighting to obtain their copy. She bravely fought her way to the front of the melee and turning to the jostling mass she lifted up her head and, shouting in dulcet tones, she announced, “Stop! I know Wulf, the Christis Chair!”

An amazed replaced the clamour of the mob — did she really know this icon of the publishing world? Had she stood in his presence? A duck quacked, “she’s having us on — it’s a ploy so she can get a copy of Christis Issue 9” But the crowd were unhearing, they stood dumbfounded at her revelation. She calmly picked up a copy of the treasured magazine and walked through the people who parted automatically for her like the parting of the Red Sea. She crossed the Red Sea (sorry, the corridor) and settled herself on a bench outside in the sun. Slowly, the mob began to break up as all the copies had gone from that Porter’s Lodge. Those who were wise remarked that Christis was distributed in all colleges and a voice added, “and if you join the society you will receive a copy in your pigeon-hole, guaranteed!” A cynical student murmured something about the speaker being on the Christis committee — but he was halted in his criticism by the duck.

A few fotunate and cheeky people caught glimpses of the magazine as the girl read it on the bench; they stole behind her and looked over her shoulder. She basked in the glory of having obtained a copy of Christis Issue 9.