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reports on the Cassoc retreat
Cassoc’s annual retreat weekend was at Ampleforth Abbey, as it has been for the last few years. We stayed there from Friday to Sunday night, transported there by the trusty Doris (Fr. Tony’s beloved minibus, for those who don’t know her). The use of the ‘Pete-mobile’ had to be abandoned due to a last-minute injury to the owner’s toe!
Ampleforth is a Benedictine monastery, which has been in existence for around 200 years. For most of our group of 13 it was our the first experience of this kind. Ampleforth is also a prestigious boys’ school, although during our visit it was half term for the pupils. Our accommodation was excellent. We had been told by the ‘veterans’ of our party that the food was delicious, and we were not disappointed. Salmon steak can really spoil a student! The whole house that we stayed in, called the Grange, was for our use and we were made extremely welcome by the staff and monks that we met. The retreat was shared by a mixed Catholic and Anglican group from Ripon and St. John. Everyone got along very well and jobs such as washing up helped to improve relations. The main spiritual aspect of the retreat was joining in the offices and services of the community. Benedictines make five offices each day. Matins at 6.20am, Lauds at 7.20, a Midday Office, Vespers at 6.35pm and Compline at 8.30. An office basically consists of a number of Psalms sung in plainchant, as well as prayers and readings. They differ in length from about 10 to 40 minutes. I would imagine that everyone has at least seen snatches of such services on television. That had been my only impression of monastic life before this weekend. I found the experience of it compelling, magical, disturbing and powerful. It’s difficult to find one word that sums up all of those. The first office that we went to was Vespers, which was mainly in Latin, although the other offices were almost entirely in English. I find the sound of plainchant moving, but to be so much a part of the prayer was profoundly effecting. We were able to follow the Latin and English translation in the books, but I just allowed the experience to wash over me during that first encounter. The singing, and the prayer which was behind it, brought me very consciously into God’s presence. It allowed for a kind of prayer that does not need words. This type of prayer is very rewarding because it opens a ‘two-way’ communication with God. I usually find it very difficult to do. It seemed that within those choir stalls the barriers of distraction and self-consciousness disappeared In most of the offices I followed and even quietly joined in with the Psalms, although that was a challenge at 6.00 in the morning! I had read Psalms before, but never with such thoughtfulness. The speed of the chant is slower than speech and is just about the right speed in which to take in the meaning of the words. Within the atmosphere of ‘Godliness’, it was good to be able to appreciate some of those moving phrases. I’m sure that it will make me take more notice of the Psalms in future, probably with that beautiful music in my head as I read. In between these offices we were given a series of talks by one of the monks, Fr. Paul Browne. These were broadly based on the Good News, in his understanding, and were very helpful. I particularly appreciated the way he told us about himself and some of his very personal struggles to find what God meant to him, and him to God. He was able to relate his idea of the Good News, that is God’s unconditional love for us, to his own experiences.
The weekend made me consider the role of ‘enclosed’ orders in the Church. The Benedictines are not, of course, strictly enclosed. They run the college and some of the brothers are active in local parishes. The atmosphere I experienced during their offices was filled with the presence of God. I believe that God is everywhere, but it is not always easy to feel that presence physically. I think that for God to be so strongly felt, the sincerity of the monks was unquestionable. I would also believe that their faith was strong and mature. From Fr. Paul’s story we learnt that his first experience of God at the abbey had a 3-week ‘honeymoon period’, in which he believed himself a ‘child of God’, who would never turn away from him again. This proved to be naive and was later replaced by a more mature faith which admitted that God loved him for whom he was. So I am certain that theirs is not a blind faith, and their relationship with God very close. The religious life is not an escape, but rather a Benedictine faces God at least five times a day and is forced to see his relationship with God in all truth. There were around 30 of the 67 monks at Ampleforth present during our visit. While watching them during offices, I was struck by the fact that they were all individuals, who all had a life-story and reasons for being there. I was naturally curious about them. I also considered the other options that they had declined; being a parish priest or in a lay role as a husband o father.I considered whether their chosen role was really of use to the rest of the Christian community. However I realised that I was looking at this question from a purely materialistic point of view. These men clearly felt a strong vocation and had made their decisions after much soul-searching and prayer. They felt that it was God’s design for them. I realised that I was wrong to measure their life by my human perception, but to accept it as the will of God and pray for understanding. Monastic life is clearly not for everyone and the monks would be the first to admit this. However it is very special and God-given and I feel privileged to have shared a little in the lives of the community.
The group came back refreshed, although a little bewildered. The weekend was almost like stepping out of time, and it is really the purpose of a retreat to be removed from ordinary life. I think it will take some time to get properly readjusted, but the retreat and our experiences at Ampleforth will be something none of us will forget.
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Last modified: 25th November 2005