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If you ever get the opportunity to read Last Chance To See by Douglas Adams and Mark Carwardine, do so! It’s the perfect book for the armchair conservationist who’s far too lazy to actually do something constructive. Once you pick up the book, sit back, put something soothing on the midi system, pour something soothing down your throat, and then you’ll be able to read about a variety of creatures on the verge of extinction, including the kakapo — “The world’s largest, fattest, and least able to fly parrot”. These beautiful, but immensely silly birds are, of course, extremely rare and can only be found on certain islands off the coast of New Zealand.Not only has the kakapo forgotten how to fly, it’s forgotten that it’s forgotten how to fly — a factor leading to often painful consequences! When faced with a predator the kakapo will sit very still until it gets eaten. Oddly, the kakapo has learnt little from experience. The bird is a bit of a loner and as a result it spends most of its time avoiding the company of other kakapos. This can be a bit of a problem when it comes to mating as a female may have to walk miles in order to find a partner. The sex drive of a kakapo is extremely strong, but only rarely does a female feel ‘in the mood’. Mates are in incredibly short supply and tales have been told of kakapos being so sexually frustrated that they have attempted to ‘have it off’ with a possum! But, if a kakapo is lucky enough to find a compatible partner she will lay a single egg, which promptly gets eaten by a stoat!
The kakapo reminds me of another rather obscure creature known as the ‘human being’. Human beings scrape through life against overwhelming odds, but they tend not to make life particularly easy for each other (or themselves) and they rarely learn from their mistakes. Human beings can be stunningly beautiful, often independent (or so they think!) and also incredibly, mind-bogglingly stupid! Human beings insist on destroying their environments by shitting in their nests (and the nests of others) whilst defending their right to do so. As a result they make life generally miserable for everyone else, often without realising it. Then they lay awake in their nests, wondering where the awful smell is coming from! Experts have traced all this silliness back to various sources: politics, the need to make large quantities of dosh, and (of course) good old religion.
“Society is God” said Durkheim (old sociologist chappie!). The implication of this being that in worshipping God we actually worship society — society (like God) binds us together and gives us a common perspective complete with values, moral codes and a book of rules. As a result, a society with a tough line on law and order will be keen to quote scripture pushing “an eye for an eye” and will pray to a God of fire and brimstone. A more liberal society will have a softer line on punishment and will probably quote scripture concerned with forgiveness. Admittedly, this theory tries to explain the growth of religion in early society purely in terms of the need to establish a secure social order in which there exists a common value system, and as a Christian I don’t believe God can be reduced to a set of ideological doctrines, but I do believe that such a theory holds a very important truth within it. The importance of religion is not so evident in modern society, social conditioning is much more complex these days, however we can still see it at work in more fundamentalist cultures, and to a lesser extent, within our own churches and the university.
Whilst much of this may seem simplistic (although less so than the old Thatcher quote that “there’s no such thing as society”), the essential fact remains that we all like a religion that moulds nicely to a set of values and confirms our place in the world. After a while it becomes unclear which came first, the values or the belief system — a chicken and egg situation if there ever was one. The consequences of this can be viewed on campus level, all of the societies have certain ‘sacred cows’ which confirm and establish the communities involved, making them secure, but sometimes putting them in conflict with other societies. This may result in casualties but (like the kakapo) we are slow to learn from our mistakes. These attitudes are magnified in the wider society, particularly when related to such ‘hot potatoes’ as the economy, the welfare state, and the environment.
The rise in ‘green’ thinking has been widely publicised, but for most people the response has been rather piecemeal. Goods with the legend ‘recyclable’ emblazoned across their side are common, however this does not mean that the manufacturer will actually take the time and resources to actually use recycled materials. The middle classes (the most receptive to environmental concerns) may eat organic food, drink bottled water and live in the countryside, but in fact they run away from the problem; they have much to lose from the wholesale political and economic change required to turn the tide of environmental exploitation. As a result they stick their heads in the sand and simultaneously foul their nests.
Similar behaviour can be found in the world of social welfare. Despite evidence of malnutrition amongst the poorest sections of our community (after the payment of bills, some families on income support have less than £10 a week to live on), we still bow to the ‘sacred cows’ which are predominant in our society rather than question the political, social and economic systems of our society. The basic problem lies in a form of ‘rational selfishness’ which pervades across all sections of society (including the Church) and makes us fearful of change and sacrifice. As a result we cling on to our ‘sacred cows’ (or our definitions of a ‘stable society’) even when we are choking ourselves (and others) on our own faeces. The only way to avoid suffocation is the slaughter of certain ‘sacred cows’ which will be a painful process and will require a change in lifestyle, a re-evaluation of our ideological doctrines, and a lowering of our material expectations. Unfortunately, such a widespread change of heart is about as likely as the kakapo taking flight.
The Church is as much part of the problem as anything else, indeed it can be argued that the Church is by far the silliest of all God’s creations, particularly when we consider all the squabbles and the casualties which have been taken in its name. However, God still loves it despite its endless rituals and inflated egos.
And yes, there is always love to fall back on. Maybe through love we can kill a few of the smaller calves, as we and the kakapo trip through the endless rituals and obstacles which are inevitable in a world inhabited by beautiful, creative and mind-bogglingly stupid human beings.
Just in case you are interested, by the late nineteen eighties it was believed that no more female kakapos were in existence. However, in 1989 three were found and, despite all the odds, an egg was hatched … miracles do occur, sometimes.
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Last modified: 25th November 2005