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It is inexpressibly painful to think and write about the horror I experienced in my home land which is Rwanda. No words can express what happened and sometimes when I try to explain it I have a bad feeling that people may misunderstand me and think that I am trying to justify the genocide of up to one million, killed within only two months. I personally lost hundreds of friends and relatives, including my younger brother, cousins and uncle. Talking about how this genocide was organised and carried out surpasses all my understanding. It has been the most singularly distressing experience of my entire life. All of this happened three years ago, but I still have daily nightmares about people running after others to kill them, and sometimes after myself. I saw raped women, the bodies of children and the eldest people chopped into pieces with pangas and machetes, like vegetables. I saw human brains blown out by hand grenades, I saw babies crying on the bodies of their mothers and saw militias approaching them to finish the babies off with spears. I saw militias dumping people alive into latrines and rivers. I heard about pregnant women whose stomachs were cut open so they could die from ‘abortion’.
All I can say is that I had not really faced the possibility that hundreds of thousands of my compatriots were going to be killed en mass, that millions of them, including myself, were going to become refugees. Even though, prior to this murderous and man-made disaster there was a heated political tension and a ‘conventional’ war between the Tutsi dominated army, calling themselves the Rwandan Patriotic Front (RPF) and the government army (mainly Hutus). However, up until then, I had believed that God, the Almighty, would not allow the blood shed in this mainly Christian country (the 1990 national survey on the population reveals that up to 80% of the Rwandans believe in one God, the Almighty). And yet the Rwandan proverb says that “God spends the day elsewhere, but He always spends the night in Rwanda”. I really do not know the exact meaning of this proverb, but I think it means that God provides a kind of night-guard or protection to Rwandans.
The Rwandan Faith was torn apart by the murderous campaign and political intimidation, and suddenly fear and panic took the place of peace and bravery, and hatred took the place of love, all together leading people to hunt each other to death. Hutu political and military figures were reminding their members about the bad old days of the Tutsi kingdom and hardship, when the Hutus were subject to domestic slavery and banned from education, all of which were organised by the Tutsi and colonial (Germany and Belgium) leaderships. So the Hutu’s political message was to call on all the Hutu population to fight for the Republic and Social revolution gained in the early 60’s which put an end to the Tutsi and colonial hardship.
On the Tutsi’s side, unsurprisingly as anyone would expect from any kind of rebellion, came the sweetest and most beautiful of political language, like bringing peace, justice, freedom and development and so on, were the focus of the Tutsi RPF leaders. However, some people believed that amongst the Tutsi population, there has always been a group of them that was fighting for the Tutsi’s divine heritage that grants Tutsis a divine kingship and dominance over the rest of the Rwandan population as ordained by God. The political campaign and intimidation produced a dreadful implication and hence divided the Rwandan community.
From my understanding and personal analysis, I find that all of these ‘reasons’ are pretexts used by both small handfuls of Hutus and Tutsis in order to pursue their selfish economic and political interests rather then being really concerned by the welfare of the Rwandan population as a whole. I say this because, in the end, the results of the civil war were nearly a million killed, up to three million refugees of whom thousands died from waterborne diseases, such as cholera and dysentery, and starvation and huge destruction of social and economic infrastructures, including schools, hospitals, roads, water and electricity stations, and private residential houses.
I will never understand how there can be so much pain, sadness and loss in such a short time. Why people who have been living together, shopping from the same markets, attending the same schools, worshipping the same God, people who were inter-married between Hutus and Tutsis, who share the same and unique language and have been a traditional refuge in Rwandan conflict history. Rwandans believe that church is a sacred place and none can dare follow the refugees into the churches and kill them in there. Why then were the majority of those killed in genocide butchered in churches, as they gathered together in God’s house, seeking God’s protection.
The physical, psychological, spiritual and social rehabilitation of the whole Rwandan community is a huge task. People are still being murdered. Plans to kill and destroy the nation and still being drawn up by the criminals. The future of Rwanda and the Rwandans looks far from hopeless. Although the problem lies in bed with the solution — they are both in Rwanda and the Rwandans. However, as Christians enjoying peace elsewhere, like here in Britain, it is imperative that we continue every blessed day to pray and ask God to step in and solve the problem in Rwanda. Only the Spirit and Love of God can inspire the people of Rwanda to stop the tragedy and help them to gain hope. May the Lord in His mysterious way help things to settle down and bring peace in Rwanda. The Lord needs to hear our prayer, asking Him to bless those who are suffering and be with them. Only God’s will can ensure to us that the horrendous crime that happened in Rwanda will never happen again, not in Rwanda and not anywhere else. Finally let us pray for the Rwandan churches, so that their role and that of their respective servants could act as good examples and leaders for the good of society. I personally thank God for protecting me through this horror and providing me with the means of surviving up to now. Praise the Lord for His love. Amen.
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Last modified: 25th November 2005