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Ash Wednesday

John Cook laments the lack of pancakes

For a long time now, the Catholic Chaplaincy have been using Heslington Church for services when they have needed a largish place to hold a service (the observant Hes goers will have noted that Hes is also the church of the Catholic Chaplaincy — 10 marks for those who noticed that!) Also, as Ash Wednesday is a day when many Catholics go to Mass so the Catholic Chaplaincy would be holding a service anyway, and in keeping with the spirit of the general “working together whenever possible,” it was decided to hold a joint Ash Wednesday service. Never before have I experienced such a wonderful, and at one and the same time, such a sad event as this

As nothing like this had happened in our collective memory, we all trudged along not knowing quite what to expect. The Chaplains entered, exactly the same as any Sunday morning, the only difference being that Tony (Catholic Chaplain type person) was there as well. Despite using the Catholic order of service, anyone used to the C of E or Methodist Communion service would have felt quite at home, with the confession/absolution bit, a hymn, and Old and New Testament readings, another hymn, Gospel reading, sermon, creed. Despite being different, it was not that different. When just as we were getting into the whole swing of things, we got to the Eucharistic prayer bit, and us non-Catholics had to trudge off into the side chapel, so we could do our thing, and they could get on and do theirs. Never before has the sadness of Christian (dis)Unity been so apparent to all of us than during the communion part of the service. To hear us saying the Gloria, or the Lord’s Prayer, in separate rooms, just slightly out of synch, was heartbreaking. I am well aware of the reasons why we can’t take communion together, but to be there, just a few yards away from our brothers and sisters, saying the same things, doing very similar rites and rituals, and yet not be together was horrid.

After we had all taken communion (but never before has this word been used in such an inappropriate way), we all filed back in, to share the peace, and for the blessing, but it just seemed so hollow somehow. It was almost like “A Christmas Carol”, with the opening the spirit of communion future (all of us worshipping together), the middle the spirit of communion past (us physically separated), and the end, the spirit of communion present (us being uneasy in one another’s presence, being aware of our differences, eyeing one another with some unease). Whilst we are unable to commemorate together the great sacrifice that Jesus made for us, we can’t hope to win the world for the One in whom we all believe. We are instructed time and time again to be united, but we are not even close at the moment. Speaking afterwards, however, there was a real sense of loss on both sides, so perhaps in the divisions, there is a glimmer of hope for the future, but only if we work at it, for what is the “one holy catholic and apostolic church”, if not what God and ourselves want it to be?

John Cook

Last modified: 25th November 2005