My Final Say

The following article has been transcribed faithfully from manuscript scripts found inside a rather bustard-ravaged Portuguese camphor-wood escritoire which was left to Chris Charlton among Dorian’s effects. It provides a startling insight into this great man’s state of mind in his final hours.

Photo: pro.corbis.com

As another term begins for the noble undergraduates of York University, and the buds of spring begin to blossom into the blooms of summer, yet autumn reigns in one small corner. For this is a time of fading away and the end of things in the Christis career of Dorian du Richard. For I must leave you.

This decision has not been lightly made. Nor was it an easy decision to make. However, I consider that in my present state of mind I am incapable of truly giving a lead in the aesthetic, decadent and spiritual manner to which you have become accustomed. For I — yes, I, Dorian du Richard, pursuer of pleasure in all its forms — am in love.

As all of you are no doubt aware, there are many kinds of love, and while the English may attempt to rather crudely use one word to describe both the feelings of a mother for her son and the feelings of a teenager for her faux-Burberry baseball cap (and a pox, incidentally, on the pestilential company that has allowed the lower orders of society to besmirch the good name of tweed) the Ancient Greeks had the right idea. Possibly this could be said to be an expression of the vital role love had to play in that society, in the same way as the Inuit have over forty words for snow. In any case, I feel that the state in which I find myself is little conducive to the Epicurean lifestyle which so often is central to my beliefs.

John 10:10 is a scripture dear to my heart, simply stating that “I [Jesus, obviously, not myself] have come that you may have life, and life in all its fullness.” I have always held it to be true that that which is pleasurable, if it is not forbidden or discouraged in scripture, is from God and should be experienced. This is a view which has not always been popular (I still possess scars from my attempt to explain this point of view in Texas) but I have held it central to my faith. Yet the man in love cares not for his own pleasure, but for that of his intended. As such, my advice to you on applying decadent principles to the baptism service will be deeply flawed this month. However, this unusual position has enabled me to gain a deeper understanding of God.

Often have I felt the pangs of good old-fashioned εροσ, a sexual love which, though not to be confused with lust, is very much concerned with one thing. As an appreciator of the finest things of life, I am naturally very fond of women. But currently I must own up to profound feelings of αγαπη for this particular young lady — a sacrificial type of love which is very different indeed. What interests me, in analysing this emotion, is to consider that I am commanded to “Love my Neighbour” and I have little doubt that this is the love I am commanded to show — after all, it is this love which Jesus showed on the cross. Yet I am amazed to find that there is one person in the world that I care about enough to demonstrate any significant degree of sacrifice for. To me this shows a few things. How far I have to go as a Christian, undoubtedly. How special this particular young lady is — certainly. Yet in particular I think this reminds us quite how fabulous God is.

We have been created by an all-powerful, all-knowing being that loves each and every one of us with every fibre of His being. Whether knowing this or not, we still choose to spend significant stretches of our lives ignoring and defying this wonderful being. And His response is to sacrifice himself in the most demeaning, painful way possible, just to allow us, if we want, to restore a relationship with Him. You know all this. I know all this. But loving someone else completely, passionately, sacrificially and unrequitedly is actually as good a way as any of us are likely to have of realising in any way how God feels ALL THE TIME.

I suggest each and every one of you attempts to have a similar experience before the end of your time at university. However, I realise that much of what I have said lacks the innate frivolity and joie de vivre which you expect of your premier decorative aesthete, and I do rather fear that love may have rendered me, for the first time in my life, serious. I must away, for I intend to indulge, almost uniquely in my life, the masculine huntergatherer impulse. In deference to my principles, I shall be hunting that most essential of creatures in the gourmet kitchen, the great bustard. I shall go forth and lay these birds at the feet of my beloved, and so I must ask you to excuse me for the last time.

Ladies and Gentlemen, there is a great God who made a great world for us to live in. My final ever words to you are simply these — enjoy it.

Dorian du Richard