What biscuit is your church?

Lois Cross takes an imaginative look at styles of worship

Photo: Lizzie Freear

Here’s a question to ponder during the next sermon you wish you weren’t listening to — if your church was a biscuit, what type of biscuit would it be? The question was first put to me almost two years ago, and recently recurred during a group Bible study, with interesting results. And so I set out to conduct a survey of people’s opinions of their churches. What response did this bold new approach to church categorisation get? Well, polite in difference mostly. Either that, or people ignored it. Or thought that perhaps I was a few biscuits short of a church coffee morning. So if you’re fed up with the traditional ways of categorising churches, here’s another way to describe your place of worship. Not only more fun, but possibly more informative too.

Starting closest to campus, the first church for which I received a response was Heslington L.E.P.

Hes, it was suggested, best resembles a chocolate digestive. The church is a partnership between Methodists and the Church of England, which sits well with the idea of a biscuit which has two contrasting sides. This does, however, raise the question of which is the chocolate, and which the digestive. Most probably this depends of your personal preference. Another example of the church’s having two sides is between the different groups in the congregation. The church is attended both by the residents of Heslington and students from the university. My respondent pointed out the problems that can occur in a church that is so diverse in its congregation: think what happens when you dip a chocolate digestive into a hot cup of tea!

Holy Trinity Heworth is another church that seems to make its congregation think of chocolate. My respondents who attend this church compared it to a chocolate finger biscuit. The reason for this, they assert, is that the tall spire which makes the church a landmark in the area resembles the aforesaid biscuit in being long (or tall) and thin.

An other church useful for navigation is the Minster. When I first arrived in York, navigation in the city centre depended entirely on being able to see the Minster. Even now, directions to such-and-such a place generally involve its position relative to that impressive pile. However, just to confuse things, historians believe that the original Minster was a little to the north of the present building, in the Dean’s park. Think of the problems this could cause to those hundreds of students whose sole means of navigating York is by use of the Minster! As a fairly conventional, although by no means boring church, I would suggest that the Minster best resembles a Rich Tea or Nice biscuit — there are no surprises. It is dependable and does exactly what you would expect of it.

Next door to the Minster is St Michael-le-Belfry. One of the biggest student churches, St Mike’s also happens to be the church I at tend. Opinion (such as I was able to gather) is divided on what type of biscuit best describes this diverse city centre church. The task is made yet more difficult by the fact that St. Mike’s has several different congregations. Some people seemed to think that St. Mike’s could be described as a pink wafer biscuit, since it stands out some what from your average Anglican church, and tends to leave you wanting to come back for more. However, with the general tendency expressed so far in this survey for Anglican churches to be likened to chocolate biscuits, and unwilling to depart from this tendency, I would like to describe St. Mike’s as a Bourbon. Not merely because that’s probably my favourite type of biscuit, but also because within the traditional looking church building, or biscuit, is a far-from-ordinary church (the filling). Also, the different parts of the Bourbon could be said to resemble the different aspects and services of St. Mike’s.

Photo: Lizzie Freear

Visions is a service connected to St. Mike’s that meets in St. Cuthbert’s church on Peasholme Green. It was described as being similar to a box of Roses chocolates be cause it has such variety in its services. Visions embraces new styles of worship and technology to give a contemporary feel to services. Like a box of Roses, apparently, it is colourful and has a variety of styles, shapes and flavours. Calvary Chapel also has similarities to a food type beyond the description of biscuit. Apparently Calvary is like a Danish pastry, because that’s what they serve after services. Mmm, if you chose your church on food alone, this must be the place for you.

York Evangelical Church meets in Millthorpe School in South Bank. A church with an increasing student population, it has been said to best resemble a Hobnob biscuit. Although it looks like an ordinary biscuit, apparently there’s more to it than you think! A Party Ring, however, describes Elim Pentecostal church; it’s colourful and unusual. York City Church, on the other hand, is said to be like a fig roll. Not only is it filling, but it is also some thing that you look for ward to as being delicious. Don’t we wish we could always say that about our churches?

As Christians, we need to be part of a worshipping community and feed on God’s word in the Bible to grow in our faith. As the writer to the Hebrews says, “Let us not give up meeting together… but let us encourage one another.” (Hebrews 10:25) No church is perfect, but we all need a church where we can feel comfortable and can draw closer to the God who loves us. The Church may be a mixed selection box of biscuits, but we should all have the same aims — to glorify God and make Him known in the world we live in. No matter what flavour biscuit we prefer, let’s work together to achieve that.

Lois Cross